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Christian
Jokes!
This is our
funniest project at whatagod.com and a sure laugh every time! If you
love a good joke then you will definitely enjoy this website. We will
be selecting individual joke submissions each month for addition to
our website. If you're interested please fill out the form
or simply email us Jokes@whatagod.com!
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What did the
pastor say to the horse? Why
the long face!
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JOKE:
The Pope, the President of the United States, the Smartest Man in the
World, and a boy scout were all in an airplane. Something suddenly
went wrong and they were told to put on their parachutes. Looking
over and the parachutes, they noticed there were only three. The Pope
said, "I am the Pope. People need me." Everyone then agreed
to let him go. So, the Pope put on one of the parachutes and jumped.
Then the Smartest Man in the World said, "I am the Smartest Man
in the World. What would people do without me?" So, everyone
agreed and he grabbed a parachute and jumped. Only the Presient and
the boy scout were left. The President looked down at the boy scout
and said, "Well son, I've had my days. You go on ahead and take
the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied, "But
sir, there are two parachutes left." The Predient said,
"How's that?" "Well, the Smartest Man the World took
my backpack."
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JOKE:
60 year old John went on to his annual checkup. The doctor asked him
if he was still getting up in the middle of the night and going to
the bathroom. He replied, "Yes But the lord has made it much
better for me, He turns on the light when I go and He turns off the
light when I am done". The doctor replied, "Really"!!!
About and hour after that the doctor called Johns wife and said: He
looks fine. But he said that God is making it better for him, when he
gets up and Goes to the bathroom during the night God turns on and
off the light. She replied, "that old fool he has been going to
the bathroom in the refrigerator again".
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JOKE:
Pastor's son: Hey Dad, Can you help me get a car? Pastor: Why should
I? Pastor's son: Well Jesus gave everyone things and helped them.
Pastor: Your right son, and Jesus walked everywhere he went.
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JOKE:
In heaven there were two lines. One said "Men who were bossed by
their wives," and the other one said,"Men who weren't
bossed by their wives".There was a big line for the first one,
but then the man who was checking peoples name in the book of life
saw one man in the other line. So he told the guys to wait. He asked
the man why he was in that line.And he said,"My wife told me to."
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JOKE:
One day a man was walking along in a forest. All of a sudden a
gigantic bear came running out from the trees. The man became scared
and started running. He looked back only to see the bear gaining on
him. He summoned all of this strength and ran even faster. As he
looked back only to see the bear was on him, he tripped over a stone
and went falling. As he got up the bear pushed him to the floor.
"OH JESUS!" the man screamed. At that moment, everything
had stopped. The bear glared his teeth motionless, leaves had stopped
falling, even the river was still. A big flash of light consumed the
area. The man looked next to the bear and there stood Jesus. "For
many years you continue to not believe in me. You shut me out of
your life. And now, at this moment, you call upon me? There isn't
anything I can do for you. You are an Atheist."Jesus said.
"Well, could you atleast make the bear Christian?" The man
asked. And with this Jesus was gone and time was once again moving.
He looked up at the bear who's teeth were no longer showing. The bear
rested back onto his hind legs, and miraculously began to speak,
"Dear Lord, thank you for this meal which I am about to receive..."
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What happens
when you don't pay your exorcist?
You get repossessed!!!
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NOAH:
Go easy on the bait boys we only have two worms
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JOKE:
I watched my friend come out of a church service one time, and he
shook hands with the pastor like always.Well, the pastor this time
pulled him aside and said "Jonny you should join the Lords
Army." Jonny replied "But pastor I'm already in the Lords
Army." The pastor asked " Then Jonny, why so I only see you
on Easter and Christmas?" Jonny whispered" Because I'm in
the secret service."
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JOKE:
A minster dies, and at the pearly gates a taxi driver is in front of
him.He has a black leather jacket on, and ragged jeans,and a head
ban. He says" My name is Leroy Spudds and I'm from Neww Yurk
Ceity." Saint Peter says" Very well, here is a silken robe
and a golden staff." And the taxi driver entered Heaven. The
minster steps up and says " My name is Bob Brown pastor of
Mary's New Hope, of 43 years." Saint Peter says " Very well
here is a cotton robe and a golden staff." The minster says
" Hold on Saint Peter, Why did that taxi driver get a silken
robe and me only a cotton robe??" Saint Peter replied " We
look at the works you did while you were on earth, while you preached
people slept, and while he drove people prayed."
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What do they
call a preacher that likes sheeps? a
Baaaaaaaaaptist
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JOKE:
A dollar bill was talking to a fifty dollar bill. The dollar bill
said: so where have you been? the fifty dollar bill answered: oh you
know, cassinos, Cruise ships, France, bank, the usual. He asked the
dollar bill: where have you been? the dollar bill answered oh you
know the usual, church, church, church, church......
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